Poker!!!!!!!!!!!
by Invader ZaiFae
Summary: A game of poker which will be *hopefully* insane. The first chapter is not a fic*duh* but no worries. Rated for some cursies to come! *CHAPTER 3!!!!!!!!!*
1. Default Chapter

Invader ZaiFae: Okay, I am going to have a huge poker game with Zim, Gir, Dib, Red, purple, me, and maybe a special guest.* coughjhonencoughhackwheeze*. But, me thinky more people will be needed for complete insanity. So if ya wanna play poker, lemme know, and we will get this game started as soon as three people wanna join, if anybody does at all. Maybe there will even be a prize of some sort:)   
  
Weasel, ferret of DOOM!: Don't believe her, she is crazy! The game is rigged! She gonna winaaaAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  
  
*ZaiFae can be seen choking Weasel * heh heh, don't listen to her folks, she just a little weasel! Well, Invader ZaiFae signing off! And remember breathing is NOT an option!  
  
*Fades to black as ZaiFae is seen holding Weasel, and threatening her with radioactive sporks. *  
P.S. Describe yourself in your review if you wanna be in it so I can describe you right. 


	2. People!

I looked around the table, and took a quick head count. "Nope, still missing a few," I muttered. I went back into the kitchen and grabbed a plate of snacks. You know, crackers, cheese, pepperoni, the usual. I lugged a huge, 20-gallon container of applesauce out, and stuck it on my chair.  
  
"Whazzat for?" Red asked. No, he demanded.  
  
"Trust me, you don't wanna know."(A/N: Confused? read my story, Zim gets high. Then you'll probably be even more confused, but do it anyway! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!) That was Dib. He always answers stuff like that. Stuff that any idiot should know. Anyway...  
  
KNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK! "ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, I'M COMIN!" I shouted. People on this planet are so impatient. I flung open the door. A semi-short Irken was standing there, his arm resting on his S.I.R.'s head. "Yo, Mephisto! I see you brought Jesse. Ya, both gonna play?" Mephisto pushed passed me, and Jesse hugged my shins before following his master.  
  
"Na," he replied. "Only I'm gonna play. Jesse is keeping my coffee warm. You're computer can't brew coffee for beans."  
  
"Oh, like your's does any better? Yeah, that's what I thought. Take a chair. I'm still waitin' fer people." (A/N: Mephisto is me friend Connor, and Jesse is my friend Jesse. A guy Jesse that is.)  
  
just as I turned around to get more cheese from the kitchen, Gir had already inhaled it all, I heard another knock on the door.  
  
I run to it, and yank it open. Standing there are: a 15 year old girl with brown hair, a denim trenchcoat, and red shirt with the words, "I'm not stupid, I'm advanced," on it, a girl with a black trenchcoat, brown hair with red highlights, black ripped shorts, and a purple shirt, a girl with a brown leather trenchcoat, black shirt and pants, dirty blonde hair, and two tone eyes, another girl, this one 18 yrs old, with blonde hair, and oval glasses, and lastly, an insane, physchopathic, and just downright scary looking girl?.   
  
"hi Aliet, Kat, Shibby, KidK, and Shadow of Night! Didja come ta play poker?"  
"Yes!" "Yup!" "You bet" "No con uno doubt-o!" "Why else would I be here?" "I don't know, Shadow, can I call you Shadow? Maybe to play that game of Pictionary scheduled for next week? Anyway, lemme get you all seats." I put Aliet next to Purple and Shadow next to Red. KidK went on the side of Zim where Gir wasn't, and Kat went between me and Mephisto. I looked around the table one last time. I was still expecting people, but lckily they haven't arrived yet. "I'll be right back," I told the pokerees.  
  
I skipped out on to the sidewalk, and down to the local 24-7 mart. I needed Shirley Temple drink...stuff, and a couple hundred Cherry Doom and Chocolate-Bubble Gum brainfreezies. Then, who should I run into an I walked into the Brainfreezy-mart, then good 'ol Jhonen, my personal tallest, (since I am taller than the tallest anyway. Boy, that was hard for them to swallow. Hee hee!)  
  
"Hiiiiiiya Jhonen," I screeched hyperly. He looked at me, and raised an eyebrow. "Doyawannacomeovertomyplaceandplaypokerwithsomeofyourcreationsandotherinsanepeople?" I asked in one breath. "The prize is a 78 Corvette, almost brand new."  
  
"Um, ok." He looked dazed. I grabbed my stuff, loaded it magically into one bag, grabbed Jhonen by the wrist, and pulled him into my house, all in about ten seconds. "You sit here." I pushed him into the seat next to mine, and just as I was about to sit down, I heard the dreaded sound.  
  
KNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK...  
  
  
That's all for now folks! Sorry, but for the sake of my (in)sanity I can only take 6 or seven more people. First six or seven to sign up with a description of themselves get to play poker with Me, and Jhonen and the rest of the gang. Disclaimer: I own nothing! NOTHING! Not even the black, flame painted '78 Corvette which I so ardently desire. Anyway, this is Invader ZaiFae signing off.  
And remember swimming is not a sport, it is a way to keep from drowning. 


	3. We almost started!

NEXT CHAPTER!!!!!!!! Aren't you peolple lucky? Heh heh heh;) ok, more people come, and, well, I guess we'll start playing. I still have openings for, um, * can be seen counting on fingers * 5 more people! Heh heh, cool. Anyway, here is Weasel, the ferret of DOOM! To give you my diclaimer 'cuz I'm to lazy!  
  
Weasel: ZaiFae owns nothing! So don't try to sue her and steal her money, 'cuz then I won't have any yummy food. OOO foooooo...  
  
Me: And that was Weasel. Any questions go to her since she is now my lawyer.  
  
Weasel:...oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...  
  
  
  
  
KNOCKKNOCKKNOCK!  
  
"Arg, am I to get no peace until this game starts! Oh well, better go answer the door." I walked to the door, and opened it. there were three people standing there, two Irkens and a human. "Hiya CryingChild, Invader Quin, and Chris! Didja come ta play poker?"  
  
"Uh hu.." Invader Quin started but Chris cut her off. "Hey, I'm not "Chris" anymore, I'm almost Almighty Tallest Blue, remember?" "um Chris?" I asked, and pointed to the real Almighty Tallest, who, by the way, were looking pretty ticked. As you may or may not have guessed, Chris looked like the Tallest only...well...blue. "D-d-did I say almost Almighty Tallest Blue? Heh heh, I meant Chris, just plain ol' Chris." He stammered. "I think I'll sit ove here now." He ran and sat in the seat farhest from the Tallest. "Sorry 'bout that," I told CryingChild and Invader Quin. "it's okay," the replied in unison. Then they burst out laughing. CryingChild holds up a huge mug of coffee. "I... brought... this!" she managed to gasp out. "oh goody," I cried, "'cuz my computer can't make coffee for beans, and I don't even try! C'mon, let's see if I can find you guys a seat." As I said that, two chairs magically popped up next to each other. "well, whaddya know." The two girls went and sat down in their seats, and I took mine. "ok, let's start this thing," I said. "ya'll know how to play poker right?" Nods all around the table, except from Gir, who is shaking his head, but that means yes anyway. I picked up two decks of cards, and start shuffling them, talking while I shuffle. "in my game, 3 of a kind beats a pair, 2 pair beats 3 of a kind, a straight beats 2 pair, a flush beats a straight, a royal flush beats a flush, and a straight flush beats everything. Get it? Good. I deal, or Dib, no ifs, ands, or buts. No chips, you bet with what ya got on ya. Winning player takes the pot, the cards come back to me, and we start a new round. Ok, let's play." I started to deal the cards around to my left. The order goes like this: Me, Kat, Mephisto, Aliet, Purple, Red, Shadow, Shibby, Dib, Kidk, Zim, Gir, CryingChild, Invader Quin, Chris, and Jhonen. There were sixteen people, but room for four or five more. Anyway, everyone had five cards, and the opening bets were made. Everyone put in something worth somewhere around $100, except Gir. He put in a rubber piggy, which we all know is worth millions! Heehee! Anyway we were all about to lay down our cards when...  
  
  
  
Heehee, suspense! What will happen? I don't know, and I'm writing this thing. That can't be good. Anyway, I'll write more soon, as soon as I am inspired. This is Invader ZaiFae signing off, and remember, the truth is out there, ya jus' gotta look really hard to find it!  
  
Weasel:...oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood. Huh, what's going on? 


	4. Playing(finally)

...KNOCKKNOCKKNOCKKNOCK!!!!!!!!!!  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! More people!!!!!!! Make them stop mommy!!!!!!! You! *points to all writers waiting in the shadows, ready to ring the doorbell* You! Leave me alone!!!!! Oh well, better go answer the door. C'mon you people here already, move over and make room for the new people!" I trudged to the front door. There were four people there! Noooooo! I saw two Irkens, a person, and a cyborg. "Helloooooooooo, Surgi, Invader Nooch, Invader Bast, and Ztarlight. Didja come ta play poker?"  
  
Bast held up a bag of very large diamonds. "Whaddya think?" Surgi pointed, "I'm with her." Ztar looked disappointed though. "Poker? I thought we were gonna play Go Fish. Oh well, I'll play anyway." We all laughed, and the people took seats where there was room. I gathered up all the cards and dealt them out again. The first round of poker went uneventful. Red won. The next 19 rounds were also boring. Each person won, and we all had something to bet with in front of us. But then stuff got interesting.  
  
It all started when Gir pulled a HUGE pile of Heavy Metals (a magazine for "grown-ups") out of nowhere. It was every issue printed to date. He plopped 'em all in the middle of the table. "I bet all these books with pretty, naked ladies in them." He said. Purple's eyes bugged out, and he whistled. "I gotta win me those." "Forget it, man, they're gonna be MINE." Jhonen declared. "Hah," Dib crowed. "I got something even better than those!" He pulls all of the issues of anything Jhonen has ever created, and throws them on the table. "Sweet!" CryingChild cried. "Heh, well looky what I got." Shibby reached into her coat and pulled out all 17 Weird New Jerseys. My eyes got really big, and I reached out. "Gimmegimmegimmegimme!" I cried. "My applesauce tormented mind requires Weird NJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Put your cards down," Mephisto snapped. We laid down our cards. Jhonen won with a royal flush. He immediately put his stuff back in, but he had autographed it all. Then Shadow threw in the keys to a '78 flame painted Corvette. Kat started to drool. "Need car. Need it, I need it, I need it, even if I can't drive!" Bast opened her bag and tossed a coupla diamonds on the table. "I bet these." "K then," Chris added, "I bet my Voot Runner." "Oooooooooooo," all the people not blessed with Voots said. Mephisto bet a bookshelf, Aliet threw in some CDs, Purple bet a thousand dollars, Red bet a thousand and one, just to best Purple, Shadow bet a Sea Monkey Farm kit, Shibby added an Ant Farm, Dib put his trenchcoat on the table, KidK bet a brainfreezie, Zim bet a block of cheese, Gir bet a leopard, CryingChild added some of her now famous coffee, Quin added an alligator, Ztar added an encyclopedia Brittanica, Nooch tossed on a magic wand, Surgi bet a tsunami blocker(I have no idea what that is. It just popped inth my head.), and I bet my little sister. What? She makes a good slave. Anyway, we put our cards down. It was close. CryingChild had a straight flush with 3,4,5,6, and 7. Ztar had a straight flush of...  
  
  
Wouldn't you like to know? Hahahahahahahahahaha! I'm not gonna tell! Next round is gonna get really outrageous, I'm warning you now. Anyway, I don't own ANYTHING in this story. Except me. And now, this is Invader ZaiFae signing off, and remember, do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup. 


End file.
